Roy Cross, Producing a feature out of 10' by 10' home office. The sign over my shoulder reads: Either you think you can or you think you can't. Which ever you believe is what you'll do. Photo by Cheryl Bellows

Dreaming Blue in Black and White – the making of a low budget feature film in Canada is a manuscript for a book that I wrote about the making of my feature film So Faraway and Blue.

The book is a sardonic view on low-budget, feature filmmaking in Canada. It is my intention to include a free DVD copy of the film inside the jacket of the book. Canadian filmmaker and art icon – Mike Hoolboom as agreed to write the book’s preface.

I have just completed the final version and it is currently available for publication. (hint, hint)

Here are the opening few pages:

January 29, 2003.
It was two days before the theatrical release of my feature – So Faraway and Blue. As a first feature (like so many independent no-budget films) it took several years to make, finally owing its existence to blood sweat, tears and every favour in the world. In addition to the aforementioned clichés it also required blind faith, determination and a refusal to accept defeat. If that sounds even more like a cliché, it is I suppose -- but its also truth. So after all that, there I was, on the precipice of my theatrical release. Should I say that again? The downtown Montreal, multiplex, big screen, big sound theatrical release of my 35mm feature film – So Faraway and Blue. After all the years of wonder and dreaming and then hard work -- there I was.

On top of feeling pretty damn good about just finishing and getting it into commercial release, all the press to date had been excellent, with numerous positive reviews and lots of coverage. This is positive press is critical in a no-budget release in that review ink acts as the publicity that my distributor can not afford. My distributor was using the newsprint and radio interviews to augment his pitiful advertising budget. We were ramping up as they say, ramping up to a big first weekend at the box office! The theory being that we spend our entire advertising budget in the days before the opening to play off of the reviews. Potential movie goers read the positive review, see the ad on same page, go to the cinema. If the film has a great first weekend its get a second week. It was January in Canada and I was hoping for weather that makes it easy to get out and around but cold enough to drive people to interior activities. Premiere invitations were printed, a bar was booked for a post screening reception, guests in town for the premiere. All systems go!

Then I got a call from my distributor’s office.
An assistant was calling with news -- bad news.
After all I’d been through, what could happen on a Wednesday before a Friday launch?

On the phone:
Me: “What’s up?”
Distributor Assistant: “Bad news, we are all really pissed off here.”
Me: “What’s up?”
Distributor’ Assistant: “Famous Exhibitor is not running your film.”
Silence.
Me (calm): “Oh. How did that happen?”
Distributor’s Assistant: “I don’t know. Michel has been on the phone all morning, pleading with the programmer.”
Me (calm but pissed off): “What happened? What the hell, can the exhibitor legally do that? We have blown our budget for an event that will not take place. What the hell happened? Did a Hollywood film bump mine? Do we have any recourse? Those bastards at name of famous exhibitor…”
Distributor’s Assistant: “I don’t know.”
Me: “You don’t know? Get Michel to call me!”

The Exhibitor had pulled my film from its screen. Just like that. It was too late to change the print ads because they were running in weeklies and the deadlines had passed. The reviews for all four daily newspapers were written and column space was reserved for those dates. All the radio interviews I did the previous week cited January 31 as the opening date.

Here is what happened as best as I found out. Exhibitors (as in the theatre) call up the local newspapers and confirm all their ads for shows on a Monday. The newspapers in turn then run the times and locations for the entire week. As such, Distributors (as in mine) must confirm with the Exhibitor on the preceding Monday that a print of a film is indeed available for their cinema on the coming Friday.
Phone call, LATER;
Me: “Hello.”
Distributor: “Hi Roy, its Michel.”
Me: “What’s up?”
Michel: “Well So Faraway is not playing this weekend.”
Me: “So I heard. What’s up?”
Michel: “They pulled the film because they said we did not confirm the screening this past Monday.”
Me: “And. Did you?”
Michel: “We have been confirming this film since November.”
Me: “So what happened? Did you confirm on Monday?”
Michel: “Well, Stephanie (his assistant) called on Monday but could not get through to the guy, so she just left a voice mail.”

The successful release and four years of gut busting work ended up in the hands of an assistant and voice mail. I took the phone away from my ear as Michel continued to explain the mess. I can not believe how calm and cool I seemed to be. But then again, maybe cool and calm was in reality -- numb. My feet were up on the desk and I was looking out the window with a stupid grin on my face. I put the receiver back to my ear as Michel rambled on but I had stopped listening. The phone felt like a conch shell and all I heard was the ocean.